Blog Move.

I'm keeping this blog for a few more weeks for technical reasons.
But I moved all my updates to this URL:

http://avalanchelove.tumblr.com/

it's cleaner and nicer and i like it better.
that is all.

<3

twenty.

I've been in Holland for 13 days.

Today is a Friday.

& tomorrow is my birthday.

I have been alive for 20 years.

Two decades.

Get it, girl. 

  

Weird. I tried to find all my old pictures to post since my mind is in a memory/scrapbook mode. But it was hard to sort through them all. 3/4 of my pictures suck. As I click through them, here's what comes to thought: "nope, nope, definitely nope. that person hates me. or do i hate that person? can't remember. haven't seen that person since june. haven't seen that person since i was "crazy". try to forget that person. that was a good night, oh wait, no it wasn't. ALL OF MY PICTURES ARE RUINED. i look good in this picture... but that other person isn't in my life anymore so that would be weird to post. why did i take so many pictures with you? where is that person anyway? hmm.. graduation picture maybe...oh, no pictures with anyone i still talk to. this rocks."

Things have obviously changed. If you know me well, you know that one catastrophic event after another occurred to me the day after I graduated from high school. Thus began my slow spiral into the confusion and craziness I have since overcome. Catastrophic...big word, big statement. Well, at the time... it was a big deal. Now, it's all just kind of sad. It's all just a memory. It is a scar. So, if I subtract all the crap from my last 3 years of living, my life according to photos consisted of... cheerleading, moving, working, and having the same best friends since middle school. Pretty average I suppose. In between those things I managed to dance with the same hip hop crew for 10 years, which most people don't know. Thank goodness something ended up taking me places. Dance is the reason I came to Holland, resulting in a complete revamp of my life.

The thing I like to cut out is the "good stuff", the facts people want to know. It's the adventure, the heartbreak, the mistakes, the lies, the people. Get a grip, that stuff sucked. I've spent over a year pretending most of the things I experienced, didn't happen. But I'm realizing I have to deal. I thought I could live in the same town as the person I wanted to avoid with every ounce of my being without seeing them. This past month proved wrong, twice. Memories that happened are just like the people they happened with, they're not going to just disappear. But in my case my person vanished for a year, followed by my processing skills. I've always known my life experiences make for a good story or even funny conversation. But I kept them in a separate jar on my pantry of life entitled "things to try to forget". I guess I had my time "living" and now it's time to figure out what I'm supposed to do with this life.

Currently, I'm serving in Holland with King's Kids with YWAM.

This summer, I'll go back to South Africa and do what I can to help.

And in the Fall, well I'm doing something for me.

Even though I had two years of living that resulted in more bad things than good, I've been a lucky girl. The years before proved to be productive and I've managed to remain really close with my two best friends from Houston. My time in College Station wasn't a complete waste, I still have friends from there... all new ones, but I like it that way. Plus, that's what made me grow.... and I must say where I'm at now is the best place I have ever been. And then of course, my time after gave me a bunch of random friends from the likes of people I hated in High School. (funny when that happens!) And a bunch of keepers, one of them being Bonnie.

So, here's to 20 years of living...

&& here's a few of my current favorite things:

Hope For Bottlebrush.

It's 4am in Holland, my insomnia seems to have followed me here. Bummer. I felt the itch to update my blog because I have a sweet story to tell :) The things my friends and I accomplished last week seems crazy that it came to a close so fast. Everything built up to one night. One perfect night. Of course, up until the first song played I was so nervous. My main stressor was the question if people would actually show up. The came alright, by the hundreds. I had been encouraged to pray for a specific amount of people, or a specific amount of money to be earned. But I couldn't bring myself to do that, too scary. What if I didn't achieve the numbers I had asked for? I avoided personal failure and took an "easier way" out. But I'm glad I did. I began to ask to be overwhelmed. I wanted to be shocked, awed, and blown away not only by the amount of people there, but by the amount of money we earned. My prayer was more than answered. After the last dance of the night, (Flags by Brooke Fraser....perfection), I grabbed the mic to say my thank-you's and close out the evening. I couldn't speak. I literally sobbed in front of 400 people who helped me raise $8,000 for orphans in Bottlebrush, South Africa. I mustered up a "thanks for coming" and walked off stage to be embraced by friends and family who were all either beaming or crying. That night was a good night, a big moment in my life for sure. I am so blessed to have people who believe in me, and the cause I am so passionate about. I can honestly say that my heart belongs to Africa, being in Holland means I'm one step closer to going back to where it all began. <3

8 days to go.

8 days? Time has flown. People keep coming out of the woodwork to help, and mainly keep me sane. We've learned the 3 benefit pieces: "Orphans, Kingdoms" "Albertine" & "Flags".... all of which RULE. And we started and finished Andrea's piece "Heavy in Your Arms" within 2 rehearsals. "Heavy" is exactly the word that represents the piece, and here's the video that will be played before the dance....

  

It's going to be awesome. This dance is taking me to a new level.... having to place ourselves in a darker mindset than all the other happier pieces we do. It's challenging, but worth it. The story it tells is about a struggle and the burden that it becomes on your life. It's deep. The video contains a verse from psalm that pretty much inspired the idea of the piece. Basically, no matter if our bones are withering away...God is our refuge and strength and provides a stronghold to shelter us in times of trouble. Can't wait for it!

dear beginning, i like you.

In me, in you 
Orphans, kingdoms 
Wide eyes and paper crowns 
Time will hold us, 
Time eroders 
We're wrinkling children now 

We are wondering where the wild wind blows 
We are happy here 'cause the wild wind knows 
What we are 
Orphans, kingdoms 

In me, in you 
Friends, explorers 
Babes with coats of arms 
A world inside us 
A feast, a harvest 
Each soul a son, a star 


We are wondering where the wild wind blows 
We are happy here 'cause the wild wind knows 
What we are 
Orphans, kingdoms 

Eat and drink, for tomorrow we die 
We will look our waker in the eye 
Raise a flagon and drink to your health 
Who is he that can conquer himself? 

We are wondering where the wild wind blows 
We are happy here 'cause the wild wind knows 
What we are 
Orphans, kingdoms

Day 1 went amazing.

too excited to sleep.

michelle is amazing.

her piece was a joy to learn.

everyone was so present.... and on the same page.

(pretty hard for 16 creative dancers to do)

can't believe this is the beginning.

but, it's just the beginning.

Beneficial.

January has one word: rehearsals.

Choreography starts this week, friends come from all over.

My body hurts already, but I have a 2 year old's enthusiasm.

So, February 4, 2011 has become the day I'm counting down to.

It's also the day we're going to reap benefits for children in South Africa like these:

BOTTLEBRUSH.

The biggest slum in Durban, SA.

HIV/AIDS

meal trucks

water

glass

blood

siblings

incest

violence & abuse.

Never thought I'd hear those words the way I heard them before we performed for 800 little kids at the Bottlebrush School that day. What heartbreak. On the plane ride to Holland in October, I had an idea. Let's make a lot of money somehow, and send it their way. How? Well, I know a lot of people who dance, and who love to dance. We're going to dance... and sing (I will not sing, you are welcome) to raise money for this city. "Bottlebrush" is a flower, it's meant to be something beautiful.... and the village that is called Bottlebrush, has no visible bottlebrush. How perfect that something broken and lost is entitled a name with something to live up to. I believe the money we send there will help bloom the city.

So spread the word.

Help be apart of the movement in Durban.

Come to Life Church on February 4th.

Be ready to listen to amazing songs like this:

Christmas Splendor. {{more than just a candle scent}}

So the two main holidays I brag about to all my friends in Holland, have come and gone. Besides dodging conversations that started with "you're so different now" and waking up any earlier than noon, my celebrations were legit. Too legit to quit. - thank you Jack (a.k.a. Dad) for letting me listen to  97.9 THE BOX FM in your Bonneville back in 1997. My taste in music couldn't get any better or broad.

THANKSGIVING LOVE.

House divided, like usual with our ATX relatives.

My youngest sister and the best pup in the world, Copper.

I LOVE AMERICA. 

My Aunt Margie turns her town house garage into a super classy meal time venue.

WITH LOVE, DECEMBER.

After the Aggies BTHO Texas, December was upon us. My best friend Bonnie is obsessed with Christmas things like candles, car fresheners, and matching green with none other than.... red. She was my date to the Suzanne's School of Dance teacher Christmas party and A&M Consolidated's Holiday Choir Concert where we watched my other younger sister sing while we ate cake, cake,... and cake.

  

- my sister sings real good -

- & this is Jack - 

These past two months have been full of dancing! From Dance Revolution in Dallas, Christmas in the Park, to Christmas parties with fake snow ball fights... it has all been a blast. 

I'm really lucky to witness amazing moments like these: 

Surprise Animal hats for Xmas in the park performance :)

Getting to dance at DR-Dallas alongside an old buddy

Taking Katie to Xtended in Houston, where I learned everything I know

Celebrating a great first half of the dance year with great students!

MI FAMILIA,

To kick start my Christmas travels, I visited Bonnie's family for the second time in San Antonio. Don't hate me but yes, white people do reside there, in mass amounts. (pause for gasp) I ate too much, specifically of the flaming hot cheeto food type and learned what the heck spode is. For those of you kitchen, maternal, or girl-knowledge challenged, it's plates and whatnot with "Christmas Spirit" printed on them. My mom was embarrassed I had to ask what it was. O-V-E-R I-T. After I visited San Antonio, we drove the treacherous 16 hour drive in the 'burb to Colorado Springs, CO to my grandparent's home. After driving around Europe for days at a time, a 16 hour car ride in a suburban with 3 people and 2 dogs seemed like a treat! Colorado was full of mega-church Christmas eve services, singing happy birthday to Jesus, and the family program where my cousins and sister demonstrate their musical talents. I ran in the snow, owned my family at CLUE, and taught my little cousins how to break dance. 

So, the break was successful. I apologize for this being a super long post, but it is what it is. Hailey Burke turned 7 and we (Bonnie and I) got her a huge bear for her birthday. Can't believe it!

my honorary little sister <3

Now, onto starting the blog post with the details/vision behind the benefit concert on February 4th. 

Mark your calendars now because it's going to be worth your while. 

This weekend is the first rehearsal that 32 dancers will be apart of.

This weekend marks the beginning of feeding hundreds in South Africa.

Awesomeness.