So I arrived at Schipol Airport Amsterdam on Oct. 11th, which felt a bit like home considering my Kings Kids team spent over 7 hours waiting there one time. The patience I acquired while being on a team with 31 people this summer still amazes me. Tamara picked me up and drove straight to Amersfoort for some errands then home to Epe! [For all you Texans, Epe is pronounced ape-uh, not eeep :)] We met Beth at Heidebeek and I got to say hello to old friends and meet new ones in the office. I talk about going to Heidebeek a lot, which is the YWAM base in Epe. The Kings Kids office is inside Heidebeek and we have all the KK weekends here, and I come here to use the internet :) It's so green and it's hidden inside this beautiful forest, complete love.
We (Beth and I) get the privilege to stay at the founder of this base's home, The Fountains. They have a house right down the rode from Heidebeek and we can walk or ride our bike to the office in a matter of minutes. For spoiled Americans, we have a pretty sweet set up :) We each have our own bed and share a bathroom that no one else uses. The house has been such a blessing. We don't spend much time there because we're so busy, and I find myself only sleeping there and packing & unpacking bags for the weekends. This is picture of my room via iphone, the bed is completed with my unicorn pillow pet :)
After taking a few days to get settled, we had our first Kings Kids weekend. I was so excited to see old friends from my summer tour team and meet the new ones! These teams are different from the summer ones in that it's a "year around" team. They have bootcamps in October & November where they learn dances and dramas, meet the team, complete devo's, and learn about what Kings Kids is. Starting in January, once a month they go on outreaches as a team. Team 1 is led by Marc and Kirsten Wessels, who were my team leaders on my summer tour so I was ecstatic to see them during my first weekend here. Kirsten served as my 1 on 1 mentor this summer so she was someone I became close to really fast. They are such an example for me, and they made me feel such at home this summer. I was so blessed by them. With my team leaders being people I already knew, the weekend was easier to go into. A few more participants from my team were also assigned to this year around team so the first day was full of hugs from old friends. It was so encouraging to hear everyone say, "wow you've changed so much", "I'm so proud of you Conn" again and again from the people that witnessed everything I went through in South Africa. I'll share a bond with these people that I'll never fully be able to explain to others, but what a beautiful bond it is. I taught this team a dance to a song called "make war" which was a spiritual battle in itself. The inspiration behind it was from Psalm 18:34, "He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great." The piece mainly had boys in it, which was actually better than all girls because it was more powerful when the boys did it. Instantly the team understood the idea I had about the piece and the representation of being "a soldier for God." Pretty magical.
Arise began after the first Kings Kids weekend. We have a location in Amsterdam and another in Apeldoorn where we teach 3 classes per night. I teach hip hop while Beth teaches ballet and modern. The classes are going great, I teach three different groups of dutchies how to hip hop per week! At first I really struggled with how I would be perceived, let's face it... hip hop is interpreted in so many ways. At home with Suzanne's, I've been there for 4 years... and I was the first hip hop teacher they really ever had. I've had 4 years to build up everything I have there, and I found myself struggling with the fact I would only have a month to teach my concepts and beliefs of how to use hip hop as a ministry.
The second weekend here was Kings Kids weekend number 2, with team 2 to meet and teach dances to. Johnny and Tamara Meijerink are the leaders of this team. Johnny also serves as the national leader of Kings Kids Netherlands and I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know them better during this trip. I saw some familiar faces on this team, but mostly all new ones. It was kind of refreshing to meet new people within Kings Kids who didn't know who I was or my story. Kind of exciting. I taught the same dance to this team because the program leader for team 2, Tamara, liked "Make War" so much she wanted it set on team 2 as well. Teaching it to team 2 offered different dynamics...mainly because the group was all girls, and the majority of them had never danced let alone do hip hop. So saying "get into it!" and "dance strong" was pretty frightening to most of them I think. It was a struggle for me to adapt from breezing through with team 1, to having to work a bit harder to explain the power behind this dance to team 1. But in the end it was great, and both teams were a joy to teach.
So that should bring everyone up to speed about what my weeks have been looking like. I teach monday through wednesday, have thursdays off, and on the weekends I'm completely booked! I love being this busy again. I've met some many new and interesting people along the way, and had time to spend with old friends. One day I met Naomi and Manoah in Amsterdam and got to actually see the city, not just the airport for once! It was a nice day. Another day I got to use public transportation :) and visited my dear friends, Jedidja Dogger and The Wessels in Almelo. They took me to a restaurant called the "Texas Rib House" and it was so cool Holland's take on what a cowboy is. I had dinner in Zwolle with some friends as well! But for the most part I'm teaching dance....a lot. What a joy! I also get to take class from Beth which is helping me restore dance fully in my life, which started this summer in South Africa. Ballet is kicking my butt as usual though :)
One thing I'm learning is to listen. Learning to sit still I guess. The first few days we had worship and teachings I was so busy in my mind thinking, "what"s next?" and "what now?" People close to me could sense that I was going a million miles an hour in my head and after several people kept saying "enjoy this time" "take time to rest" and "just sit in God's presence" it finally hit me that I needed to take a seat, and be still. After undergoing such big things this summer, it only makes sense to have a time of peace and comfort. But of course, my over analytic brain wanted to keep processing it all. In the past weeks I'm learning how to wait, and listen. And I must say it is such a challenge. I'm brand new, but I'm learning how to be this person, how to grow into who I am made to be. So if you're looking for ways to pray for me, pray for peace and stillness of my soul. My mind is constantly searching for things to think about.... that I shouldn't be. Not a day goes by that I don't get reminded of who I was, the places I went, and the things I did. It's exhausting. I'm learning how to find authority in God and cast those things out my mind and mainly my dreams.
Bethany has been nothing but a blessing when it comes to these topics and last night she knew I was starting to break so we sat and talked. The latest issue on my mind is.... of course it's no surprise... my past. I'm haunted by so many horrible decisions, and moments in my life. If you're reading this and have no idea what I'm talking about, feel free to ask me sometime. As much as I know my mistakes are what ultimately attack the new person that I am, I also know that they made me into who I am. Would I want to take those years back? I'm not sure. I learned so much during my bumpy walk down that road. And the freedom I've found from owning up to the things I did is nothing short of serene. I love that I have let so much of my past go, but I struggle because it continues to effect me daily. I've debated with myself again and again why I continue to do this to myself, but I know in the end it's just the enemy discouraging me. Meeting all these new people is divine, I'm enjoying every minute. But always in the back of my head I'm thinking I wonder what they would think if they knew this or if they knew that. Second guessing is never good. But I want so bad to be real. To be raw. I wish I could just meet everyone and say "Hi I'm Connie, ask me anything" because since my transformation I find being honest is the best way to show people how much God has done in me. Pretty weird right? The things that I hid for so long are now the things I want to tell people in the sense I can say "but now I am free of all of it". So once again I find myself in "limbo land" figuring out if I tell the whole world my story, or sit back and wait for the right person to share it with. Trivial.
<3
